I had the SCARIEST night of my life Monday night. I went shopping with Brett and Anna (from Germany) to Jordan Landing. We had a great time and decided to go for some Chinese Food. We sat down, got our drinks and we were just getting our soup when I felt a pop and then a gush of warm fluid from my vagina. I reached down and felt just outside my jeans and my hand came back covered in blood. I panicked and ran to the bathroom, pulled down my pants and heard a "plunk". I was sobbing and freaking and I KNEW I had killed my baby. ***GROSS AHEAD*** I reached into the toilet and pulled whatever it was out to examine it. I was praying SO hard that I would not find a baby, or any piece of a baby. It was just a clot - a HUGE clot, but thankfully just a clot.
We left the restaraunt in a rush, and somehow found our way to Jordan Valley Hospital. I got checked in and I was still gushing blood (my jeans were soaked to the knees with blood). A phlebotomist came and drew my blood and another nurse came in and gave me an IV. Then yet another nurse came in with a doppler. I said "will you do me a favor?" He said "what's that?" I said, "Please, please, please find me a heartbeat!" He laughed and said that was his only goal. THANK GOD - he found one. Every 30 minutes I was filling up one of those blue bed pads with blood.
Then I had to wait about 45 minutes for an ultrasound. We went in and the tech told me that she wouldn't be able to give me any information, she could only take the pictures. Ha ha - she lied.
She started the ultrasound and suddenly said "Are we expecting only one baby?" I SCREAMED "SHUT-UP!" "There are two in there," she said. "Are they both alive?" I asked. They are!!! THEY ARE!! I am pregnant with twins and as of right now they are both still alive!! She checked for placenta previa - which she didn't see - and checked for any indication of where the blood was coming from. Everything inside my uterus is okay. The ER doc cannot explain the bleeding, but told me that she is very concerned because there was SO MUCH blood, and also told me that I need to take this VERY seriously.
My OB/Gyn said that he can't pinpoint the bleeding, but that it looks like there is nothing to be concerned about at the moment. The babies' heartbeats are strong and they are moving well. I am on STRICT bedrest until the bleeding stops and then modified bedrest thereafter. I am still in shock - I am pregnant with TWINS!
Zacher has gone from a baby to a little boy. Right now his favorite thing to say is "so so funny" (always 2 sos) - about 1 month ago, he would ask for a snack, but when he said it he would say "sna" (leaving off the "ck") - so I started trying to get him say "snack" by saying "sna ck ck ck". Now everytime he wants a snack (which refers ONLY to a fruit snack, by the way) he says "sna ck ck ck". And just recently (literally in the last few days) he has started transferring it. Now he says "Daddy at "work k k k"
He just started joining us for family prayer too, and when I help him pray I have to help him one word at a time. Otherwise, if I say "Dear Heavenly Father" he says "Father" or I say "Thank you for this day" he says "day", etc. So when Zach prays it is one word at a time... "Dear" "Dear" "Heavenly" "Heavenly", etc. LOL It takes a little longer, to say the least.
He also got a toddler bed this week. My sister gave me "the family one", and he is doing MUCH better than I expected. So far only one time he has gotten up at 3am and wandered into our room. YAY!
Audesi is still not potty trained. She just isn't interested. I figure that she is MUCH too stubborn to fight with, and that when she is ready she'll pretty much just do it. The cool thing is that right now when she sits on the toilet (and she tinkles every time, little monster), Zach wants to go next. He does nothing, but it's a start... So maybe I'll get lucky and they will both potty train at the same time. LOL
Ciana is still smart as a whip. I'll bet she already knows more Spanish than I know German! She is still stressing over the baptism thing. She told her dad and he said if she got baptized he would take me to court. I told her that was fine with me (the man owes me thousands of dollars in back child support - yeah right he's going to take me to court), but she just has to decide to do it. We'll see what comes. She still totally believes in Santa Claus. It's amazing really, because she said that none of her friends do. She told me that she knows he is real, because there is no way we could afford to buy everyone presents. (How bittersweet is that?)
I feel like I have blinked my eyes, and they have grown up!
He just started joining us for family prayer too, and when I help him pray I have to help him one word at a time. Otherwise, if I say "Dear Heavenly Father" he says "Father" or I say "Thank you for this day" he says "day", etc. So when Zach prays it is one word at a time... "Dear" "Dear" "Heavenly" "Heavenly", etc. LOL It takes a little longer to say the least.
He also got a toddler bed this week. Sunny gave me "the family one", and he is doing MUCH better than I expected. So far only one time he has gotten up at 3am and wandered into our room. YAY!
That reminds me of when I tried to pay the Indian guy at the convenience store with 4 cents, for something that cost one pound sixty-four cents. Oh, good memories. LOL
Last night was probably the worst night of my life. I woke up at 2:30 in the morning and barely made it to the toilet before I puked my guts out. Then I started getting stomach cramps like you wouldn't believe. I was trying to poop to relieve the cramps, and couldn't. I was also literally going from bum to mouth at the toilet. That lasted 4 hours, until 6:30am. I ended up bringing my pillows to the bathroom and laying on the floor.
I can't believe how I forget these things that happen when I am pregnant.
I had a dream about Holly last night. She came home just to check why people weren't writing her. She was SO mad at me, and I couldn't convince her that I REALLY had been writing her emails! Then she decided to move in with my old roommate Morgan, and I was SO ticked off. Ha ha
I am not complaining, but I have to vent this. Why does being pregnant cause so much nausea? I wish women who had no morning sickness knew how lucky they actually are. But, it's hard to appreciate something you have never experienced. Let this be my statement: Be ever so grateful if you have had the luxury of skipping morning sickness, know that you have practically gotten away with murder! You are SO lucky!
On another note, I am so excited to be preparing for a new family member. Because I feel so sick, I am inclined to think this will be a boy. Of course, only time will tell.
At our family party Dad convinced all the men, boys and children to bob for apples in the 30 degree weather. I told him that if any of mine got sick I was sending them over to his house. lol
So, yesterday was the worst day of my pregnancy so far. I slept from 9pm the night before until 9am, and took a 3 hour nap from 1pm to 4pm that day. I was SUPER nauseated all day, and just basically felt like crap. It sucked. I am hoping that is the worst of it, and that I don't get sick like I did with Zach. Cross your fingers for me.
I am going to try a home birth. Remember how far I got with Zach? I figure I probably could have gone the rest of the way, so this time I am basically "putting my money where my mouth is". We'll see...
I'm pregnant. I'm pregnant. I genuinely thought that those words would never come out of my mouth again. After 15 months of trying to conceive I had lost hope. I have been charting my "basal body temperature" in hopes of achieving pregnancy, and I was going to quit after this month. I just couldn't handle the stress of it any more. What are the odds?
I am SO excited, I can barely contain myself!
I really like them, but I wish Tib lived closer! My sister, who is also my boss, has been out of town and it is taking it's toll on me. I don't know how she handles it day after day!
I just had some lady come in and rip me a new one. We are building her a house, and the truss plant got backed up, so while we are waiting on trusses, there has been no activity on her house. She is not even my client, but she came in today and demanded her down payment money back. When I told her that even with the delay in the trusses, we are still on schedule, she called me a liar. I basically told her that she needed to take her concerns to Liberty (her realtor, my sister) or Morgan (the builder, my brother) because there was nothing I could do for her, even if I wanted to. Dang it, she made me cry.
I have written her an email in response to her conversation with me. I had to be careful, so as not to drive her further away.
I have been stirring over our discussion concerning your home being built under contract. At Hatfield Homes we strive to focus on the quality of work, while meeting our deadlines and pleasing our clients. At times there are back-ups and delays due to suppliers, or sub-contractors, etc., but the delays are usually small, and we can quickly make up for lost time. I have been reassured that your home is on schedule and that there have been no serious complications. Barring natural disaster, your quality home WILL be completed by December 1, 2004.
We respect you as a client and appreciate your trust in building your home. I understand that with such a large investment it is easy for emotions to run high. Thank you for expressing your apprehensions towards your home with me, and please bring any future concerns to my attention as quickly as possible. By doing this we can avoid potential stressful situations. You are a wonderful client and we enjoy working with you. Thank you!
I hope that she was just venting, and that we don't have a problem as big as she made it seem. What a day!
My parents have been on a mission in Germany for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints for 18 months, and they are finally coming home! They are actually officially finished with their mission today, but they are staying in Europe for a couple of weeks to do some 'touristing'. They will start with 3 days in Rome, then take a 10-day Mediterranean Cruise, and finish the trip off with 3 days in Barcelona.
Since I was in Europe just three months ago, I'm not all that jealous...EXCEPT THAT CRUISE! Oh my, how I wish I could go on that cruise! Cruising is my favorite way to vacation, (mostly because of the food), and as a result, I am often caught daydreaming about what wonderful cruises I would like to take. Unfortunately, money and the fact that I have 5 children at home, prevents me from fulfilling my cruising fantasies.
Back to the point. I am so excited that my parents are finally coming home. It's amazing how much a 28-year-old woman still needs her mom. I can't tell you how many times I have wished that I could just go park on my mom's barstool and chat with her. Grandkids sprawled through the house, causing various catastrophes in virtual silence. Ahhh, the good old days.
I think that my parents are going to build a house, and will live in a rental until it is finished. The rental they have in mind is not the most sanitary of places, so I am not so sure how much parking I will be doing in that house. But, the house to come... Oh baby, when can I move in? (The answer to that question from my father would be a resounding 'NEVER'.)
I can't wait to be able to find my dad at the farm when I need to talk. It's hard to put crises on hold while you wait through the 8-hour time difference for it to be a reasonable time to call.
I am also hoping that I can get my dad to roll up his sleeves and pitch in to help Brett get the landscaping done at my house. Brett just needs some motivation, and I think my dad could provide that. (Brett claims it will be done before my dad gets home... yeah, we'll see.)
The bottom line is this: My parents are coming home, and I am bursting with anticipation!
Why do girls fight? It is exceptionally frustrating to me. Julianna seems to glean a great deal of satisfaction from making Ciana feel bad. Where is the payoff? I just don't get it! I don't remember ever being this hateful and mean with my sisters (and I have 5 of them)! Poor Ciana just takes it like a kicked puppy (despite the several talks we have had about standing up for herself, and her self worth, etc). I want to just give up, but I know that because I am the mom, I can't. I have to deal with this until it is solved, or until Julianna turns 18 and moves out, whichever happens first. That's probably the wrong attitude, isn't it?
Hooray for Community Ed!
I found an AutoCad class that I can take through Community Ed, and it only cost me $70. I won't get credit for it, but at least I will learn the basics of AutoCad. I actually have an at-home lesson plan for learning to draw houseplans, but I got stumped on the first lesson because I was so unfamiliar with AutoCad.
Wish me luck!
It's not really 10:15, I just couldn't think of a title for this post and that Cure song came to mind.
I just wanted to check in.
I am having a hard time fitting school into my life. (Imagine that... 5 kids, and no time for school). I want to learn AutoCad and then floorplan designing, so that I can work from home. My brother is a builder, who is very dissatisfied with his designer, and has offered me the opportunity to draw for him. The only thing standing in my way is three classes at the local college (with which I will accidentally get an Associate's Degree.) Part of the problem was the night job that I just quit. I felt guilty having my children in any more daycare than they already were. But, now that I have quit my night job, I have missed the deadline for enrolling. Grrrr... Nothing like a good Catch-22.
So... do I turn on the 'assertive Crystal' and go over to the school and request an exception? Do they even do that? I'm stuck. I don't like confrontation, but I also don't like paying a babysitter to watch my kids while I work (at my other job, the "day" one).
I dunno.
I am very excited, because right now I am working off the last six hours of my job at Schmodus Schmedia. I was finally able to quit, after the realization that I was putting my real estate earnings to the wrong use. (Funny how it turns out paying off your credit cards, and then maxing them out again ...repeatedly... is the "wrong use"...)
Well. of those options I don't think there is really one that I could do for the entire 4 hours and 57 minutes I have left... I guess I am off to ... um .... well, do something.
In short, I realized that I could "live off" of my real estate earnings, rather than squandering them, and I wouldn't have to work two jobs. Why, oh why, did it take me this long to realize?
Now, I have to figure out what to do with the next 5 hours and 11 minutes. Here are some of my choices:
I have a hard time keeping a journal, so I am hoping that I will be better about it if it is right here in front of my face, on my computer. I fancy myself a relatively intelligent person, so I am hoping that people will find what I have to say at least somewhat interesting. I guess only time will tell.
First a little background on me:
My name is Crystal. I am currently 28 years old. I am married to Brett who is currently 39 (how is it that I am almost married to someone who is 40???) We have a total of 5 children. Josh and Julianna are my Brett's from his first marriage, Ciana is mine from my first marriage, and Audesi and Zachary are the product of our marriage to each other. We have been trying for another baby since July of 2003. I never thought in a million years it would take over a year to get pregnant. (It took me all of 3 months after Audesi was born to be pregnant with Zachary...SURPRISE!) We all live in Orem, Utah which is about 40 miles south of Salt Lake City. We are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. You can expect a lot of ranting about my infertility here, as well as my thoughts on my children. I intend to be boldly and blatantly honest. Since this is my blog, I kindly request that no one asks me to defend myself or my beliefs. Thanksomuch!
